I am in a vortex of obligation.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
it's like heaven, but drunker
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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