ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
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