North Korea, Best Korea!
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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