Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
