Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Is it because I queefed?
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
