Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
