Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Too much gin, very little bucket
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
