member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I have fence marks all over my body
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
