I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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