let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Girls should come with a carfax report
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
