I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize