I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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