The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
