my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
