some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
