but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
