You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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