I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Randomize
