i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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