But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
