You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
