I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
