so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
