she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize