Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Randomize
