I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
