Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
She just used a chaser for red wine.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
And then he peed in my hair
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