You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
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