Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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