i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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