Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Randomize
