that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Randomize
