Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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