I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
