is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize