ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
