eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
