You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I party with great urgency now.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
