I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Houston, we have a squirter
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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