wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize