so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
