you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
