what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Randomize
