what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
