Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I think I won the penis lottery.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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