he shaved USA in his pubs
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Randomize
