Walk of Shame. In a state park.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
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