none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
She is in my trunk
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I am available for nakedness
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
