respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I can't put those talents on a resume
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
