Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
You are a genius and a whore.
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