it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
