i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize
