i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
