I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I just sucked dick on a ferry
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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