my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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