How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
