How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
two words...techno handjob
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
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