The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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