i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
