she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Randomize
